I can't not test

so I've been have a bit of an early mid-life crisis. Mainly, I'm tired of/hate my job. This feeling has come and gone in the past, but this time it seems to be sticking much longer. Because of this, I decided to go on a bit of a 'desk strike'.

For those of you not familiar with my terms, a desk strike is a period of time, sometimes hours and sometimes weeks, where I am at my desk and I appear to be working, but I am not. My record for desk striking is 3 weeks. This turned out to be not the best idea since it took me at least 3 months to make up all the work I had faked doing during the strike. Far more fascinating is the fact that no one caught on, not co-workers, not supervisors, no one.

This time around I am modifying how I approach my strike. Rather than doing nothing, I am doing exactly what I am asked and not a single stitch more. At least that's what I am trying to do.
I am finding this much more difficult than doing nothing at all. Example: on my current project, (well one of my projects) I am a tester only. No leading. No getting fancy. I mentioned early on that I was concerned about the limited coverage on a vendor feed. I was told if I get a number back, everything is fine- no need to make sure the number is in the right place, properly calculated, nothing. So that's what I attempted to do.
However, I am apparently incapable of being this mindless. (And I love nothing more than shoving someone else's smugness back in their face.) I just knew, based on past experience with both system and vendor, that things could not be so smooth. So as much as I tried to convince myself that I was just doing as I was told, I tested anyway.
I honestly believe that this was a subconscious act. Through sitting in status meetings trying to listen to my audio book, I gather information about risky data, shaky calculations, and holey interfaces. Then earlier this week, some strange force put all of these items together to uncover a major fault. I used data that was not specified and criteria that I rarely select. I compared results with a system I avoid at all costs. And most importantly, I paid attention when I really didn't want to, and while watching Little Britain on my ipod.

I am a tester possessed. A possester? I didn't want to do it. I couldn't help it. I am not a woman of conscience. I rarely act for the greater good. Perhaps this was just a rare and much needed reminder that while I may not be happy where I'm at, I do like what I do.

Who knew?